I'm depressed, I don't like myself, and I can't be alone. I don't know where to turn?

I have struggled with debilitating depression for about four years now. I always ponder what my purpose is in life, who I'm going to become, etc. I want to have somebody special in my life who will love me unconditionally. But I can't find it in myself to be truly independent. I cry a lot. It seems every time I find someone in my life I feel I really like, I become obsessed. They don't usually know how attached I am, but I get so stuck. Especially being with a guy who is busy and has a job, friends, school, and a life outside of me. I don't know how to be independent. I have no life. I moved to a new town in the middle of nowhere and I have no friends. I go to a community college where virtually everyone is antisocial. I am shy as it is. The other problem is my entire life I have been called weird, odd, strange, different... all because I am goofy and have my own unique style. I need constant affirmation of who I am from others, countless opinions, and still the input and positivity others give me is never enough. I hate my body and I am working to change that but I can't see the will in myself to change how I feel about me... I want to love myself, be independent, be able to be without my boyfriend, etc. I want my own life. I have social anxiety and I am afraid to be me simply because all I get is "You're weird." I am sick of it. What can I do?